There’s a weird misconception floating around that you shouldn’t need lube, or that if you need to use it you’ve somehow failed at sex. While a proper warm-up for vaginal sex is, of course, highly encouraged, not all bodies produce much homemade lubricant. Some body parts don’t make any of their own at all! A little extra lube can make sex more comfortable and pleasurable and can reduce pain and irritation that may be a result of sex that isn’t slippery enough. It can prevent condoms from breaking and make them more comfortable. Plus, it can add some novelty to your sex life. Lube is awesome, and in my humble opinion, more folks should be using it!
To see what might be happening inside the body without adequate lubricant, rub your hands together really quickly. You’ll feel some resistance, your hands might warm up, and if you keep it up for long enough the rubbing might get uncomfortable. Continue even longer and you’ll end up with red, irritated hands. This irritation can happen with sex, too, especially if it’s particularly vigorous. If you’re ending sex with burning, painful genitals, adding lube might do just the trick in reducing or eliminating that pain.
Some acts are pretty much impossible (or would be painful) without lube. After all, the anus doesn’t self-lubricate like the vagina does. This means that not using lube with any kind of anal play will result in a whole lot of discomfort. Saliva might work for a finger or a small toy, but more often than not, spit isn’t good enough. Lots of lube is especially important for larger penises or toys. It keeps things moving and makes all sorts of sexy activities possible and pain-free.
Lube helps with condom use in two major ways. First, it can make a condom comfier. Adding a small drop of lube in the tip of a condom allows it to more smoothly move around the head of the penis. Then, using lube on the outside of a condom can prevent it from breaking. Have you ever seen a balloon pop from too much rubbing? That’s exactly what could be happening to a condom. If the sex you’re having isn’t well-lubricated enough, it can cause friction and weaken the condom until it breaks. Using water or silicone-based lubricants can reduce this friction. The exception to this condom-helping property is an oil-based lubricant. Take a gander around the internet and you’ll see recommendations to use coconut oil as lube. While this is usually safe (although some people’s bodies don’t like it and it may cause yeast infections), oil-based lubricants can degrade the latex of a condom and cause it to break. Stick to water or silicone-based lubricants for this trick!
Of course, lube is useful for more than just making things more slippery. Some offer warming or cooling sensations to provide different experiences. Some feature fun flavors for oral sex (be careful using these in vaginas though; they might cause an imbalance of bacteria or yeast and result in an infection!). Some use a gentle numbing agent to delay ejaculation by reducing sensation. It is important to note that while this can be useful to use on the inside of a condom (some condoms come with this lubricant pre-installed); these lubes are not good for anal sex (which they’re often marketed for). It is important to be aware of pain with anal sex, and if it hurts, you should try something smaller or stop altogether. Using these numbing lubes for booty play may result in injury. That’s why it’s important to be able to listen to your body!
Lube has a whole host of benefits. It’s great for reducing pain and discomfort with intercourse, allowing some sex acts to even be possible, making condoms comfier and less likely to break, and adding something fun and new to your routine. There’s no shame in using it and needing some extra slipperiness doesn’t mean you are any worse at sex than someone who’s body just happens to produce more of its own. Most importantly, it can improve your sex life and bring more comfort, pleasure, and fun. Keep up that foreplay, but don’t be afraid to add a little lubricant.